I'm Not Jealous! I Really Think They Look Alike.

I think THIS guy...

Kyle Korver of the Utah Jazz

Looks like THIS guy...

"Beast" from 1980's TV "Beauty & The Beast"

Mixed with a little of THIS guy...

Steven Tyler of Aerosmith

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. Am I wrong? I don't think so.

W. Craig Tovey Grows Up Or: How I learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Girl

"I'm 30, basically, time to grow up."
- Tim
BBC's The Office


Exhibit a.


Exhibit b.

They say everyone's story is different... and this is mine. When Karly (Exhibit b) and I (Exhibit a) first started dating (Halloween 2006) I didn't feel anything extra special. She was pretty, nice, very sweet, and we had fun hanging out together. I liked her a lot, but it was missing what I thought it needed and she was too young, and so the relationship had no future in my mind. And a few months later we broke up. But, a few months later we got back together and... a few months after that we broke up again. It was always her realizing the relationship wasn't progressing and deciding she'd had enough. On the third attempt I took it more seriously, but still hadn't changed my idea of how I should feel... (Which was a childhood version of love and marriage made from equal parts Hollywood and a 12 yr old's reaction to his parents divorce.) I thought that if I was open to the possibility of me and Karly, it would happen; the magical romance I'd built up over the years. It didn't and after a few months too many we broke up again. It was this time that I took a very serious look at myself. How was my single life going to end? What is going on with me? I've probably dated over 60 girls and met hundreds in the last 9 or so years... what am I looking for?

I started the arduous and painful task of converting my knowledge of REAL love and relationships into action. I slowly (very, VERY slowly) realized that all this had little to nothing to do with my feelings or doubts about Karly as a person and everything to do with my expectations of marriage. I realized that there is no one I've met that I'd rather start a family and the rest of my life with than Karly. Not only is she very easy on the eyes, but she is affectionate, loving, fun, easy going, adventurous, kind to others, loves the gospel, is an extremely hard worker, tough, has great taste, is ambitious and intelligent. She loves me in word and deed, supports my aspirations, and can stand my incessant talking. Laggardly, I began to believe the borrowed knowledge I'd been spouting off for years about what makes a happy marriage and I decided to act. (See exhibit c.)


Exhibit c.

This is a rooftop in downtown Salt Lake City that Karly had taken me to once to climb atop and watch a sunset. (You have to climb an old iron ladder affixed to the side of the 4 story building. If you fall you'd break lots and lots of bones or maybe die. I've freaked out both times we've done it. Going down is just as bad as going up. Karly, however, is pretty fearless.) I asked her out for Friday April 18th. We were broken up mind you, but we'd been talking. I bought a new lighting set up and told her I wanted to test it out on the rooftop taking some sunset pictures and whatnot. (You can see some of these pictures here.) Towards the end of the shoot I was setting the timer, jumping into the photo with her, since we have very few pictures together. On the last one after standing and looking though the camera freaking out for several minutes... I proposed with a ring I'd bought just hours before. The photo above is the actual moment. (I borrowed my inspiration from my brother-in-law Paul & sister Wendy.)

So it's done and I feel fantastic! Such a weight off my mind. Over-analyzing every relationship is tiring! I'm excited to be moving forward with my life, sharing it with a stupendous girl. We'll be sending out announcements and whatnot soon, but I wanted you all to know right away. We're planning on Saturday Aug. 16th in Salt Lake. Good news/bad news: We'll be getting married civilly. It will be a lovely ceremony and everyone will be able to attend, but not the ideal beginning I'd always imagined. Our goal, however, is to be sealed in the temple as soon as possible thereafter and we'll work towards that as a married couple. We're both very much active Mormons... with a little setback.

If you are reading this PLEASE take a moment to include your full name & address in a comment (or email it to me at craigtovey@gmail.com) and it will be my pleasure to send you an invitation. Everyone I know is invited to the ceremony and reception. Thanks y'all!

I Put The "M" In Open...

With a seductive title like that, how can you not continue reading? Good question... I DON'T KNOW!

I've always been very interested in the diverse interpretation of the English language; from the many ways that native English speakers pronounce the words of their mother tongue, to the foreigner's slant, on down to the subtle nuances of regional accents here in the USA. I'll admit that I'm not in a position to speak authoritatively on this subject other than to note my personal observations. (If I had 10 lives to live on this earth I would spend one of them as a linguist. Maybe like my 6th or 7th life. Not high on the list but definitely before my 10th, which would be spent as a gypsy.) But I have some thoughts on it that I hope are not too banal.

I think everyone is slightly fascinated with the many English accents. Who doesn't love practicing their British accent? I believe everyone does it in private, but nowadays some people even do it in public. To illustrate a few accents, let's take the word "others." New Zealanders might say it, "uth-ehs," while an Irish lad might pronounce it, "utters," an American from Texas might say, "uh-thurrs." A Dutch man might say it, "uhzsherz." And a German might say it "otterz." As in "Ewe may haff foolt de otterz, but ewe haffn't foolt me." (Burbs, anyone? Anyone?)

They might say it like that, but I'm not sure. See, I'm not a linguist. Not in this life.

The big, obvious accents and pronunciations are fun, charming, and will surely provide a lifetime of humor and entertainment. But what I've found is just as interesting to me is the more subtle accents of these many United States. Why do New Yorkers sound so different from people from Wisconsin? Or why do West Coasters differ so much from Southerners? How do these accents develop? It's so bizarre! Are you telling me that if I took a group of people and inhabited an isolated geographical region that in 50 years or so, we'd have some weird accent that was recognizably different from the rest of the English speaking world? We'd even have our own slang and vocabulary? That's crazy. I mean, you'd think that books and TV would help more to anchor a language , so that people wouldn't drift too far from the original version. But they don't. At least not as much as I think they should.

For instance, when I moved to Utah from Northern California, I didn't perceive a distinguishable variance in pronunciation. I did notice some of the local slang and verbage. For years I was hung up on the peculiar words like "sluffing school," "fetch!," "hecka," and "pop." (The Californian equivalents of "cutting school," "freak!," "really," and "soda.") I was so focused on the words themselves that I didn't notice the way they said their words. I remember the first time I noticed the Utah accent. (Angie, forgive me for this) A good friend I met on the mission from St. George, one Sister Spendlove said something that jumped out to me.

"... so we started runningk super fast!"
"Wait, I'm sorry, what was that? Did you say runningk with a k?"

And the answer was yes, she did. I started to pay attention from that point forward and noticed that many native Utahans added the hard "G/K" type sound to the end of their words in gerund form. Particularly those in the more remote and/or rural areas. I was so proud of myself for noticing it. Flyingk, drivingk, singkingk. But there was more...

Old school Utahans pronounce the word measure as "mayzure." Pleasure as "playzure." And a personal favorite is the dill/deal, fill/feel confusion.

"He was so selfish, he didn't even think of my fillings."
"Your fillings? Like in your mouth?"
"No, my emotions. My fillings."

or
"I'm so happy about my new car. I got a great dill."
"Are you talking about a pickle or a vehicle?"

And I've had a great time these many years picking out all kinds of crazy Utah speech eccentricities... until the day I got a little tasty-poo of my own medicine! Thanks to Brooklyn Eaton, I discovered I have a speech impediment, or a weird regional accent, or I'm retarded. Here's how it was uncovered:

"Yeah, I went by and it wasn't ompen."
"What did you say?! (**laughter**) It wasn't what?!"
"Ompen?"
"Ohhhhm-pen?! Oh, that's great!" **more laughter**

I couldn't believe it. I had an accent! So after all my high and mighty snobbery, it turns out I am only human when it comes to speaking English. California, it turns out, is not the home of pure English as I had heretofore assumed. (Some say I pronounce "eggs" weird, but I don't hear it. Maybe I refuse to hear it.) As I move forward with my exploration of the English language and all its variety, I guess I'll have to keep an... ompen mind!

Get it?! Ompen mind?! Cause of what I said before... it's funny, right?! Right. So what are the accents and nuances that you've noticed of your fellow American English speakers? Have you found any words that you say funny? Please feel free to share.

Thank you. I'll take my answer off-air.